:D

I missed suicide prevention week.
:/


I would like everyone to know that suicide is not something to be played with. According to the World Health Organization, about every forty seconds, someone dies to suicide. I was almost a victim to suicide if it wasn't for the love of my parents. There was too much going on in my life, and I broke. I threatened suicide and wanted to very much. I was sent to the emergency room and was later transferred to a Behavioral Health Center. I know that if it wasn't for God's love and mercy, I would have died that night. According to the Suicide Prevention Resource Center, fifty percent of those who die by suicide were afflicted with major depression, and the suicide rate of people with major depression is eight times that of the general population. So before you go and judge someone who is dealing with depression, a mental disorder, cutting, or self-harm; think about the consequences. Life is fragile and innocent until you abuse it. If you abuse it, then you could loose it. Life is too short, take care of it, and don't let it slip away.

Wow, for the first time in a while.
I feel so in love.
With you, it is sooo different.

We don't talk much, and we haven't
seen each other in a while, but...
I love you more than anything else in this world.
I have for a while now.


I hope you feel the same.
Until then...

I'll just..

*wonderrrr<3*

Grandma, I know you're in a better place.
That doesn't change the fact that we all miss you.
I am glad you went without any pain, but i'm sad you went.
I found you, breathless, and not in pain.
You were like a child, innocent and vunerable.

We miss you, terribly. I love you.
We love you.
I love you.

my dream job is to be a doctor.
i do think that i will accomplish that.
(:

I didn't think this would happen so fast.
This is crazy..

I got my baby back.
He asked me back out saturday night.
We've been together on and off for 4 years now.
Hmm, I'm not alone anymore.

He's going to help me quit cutting!
He always finds a way.
I love you John Thomas Dillon III. <3

"Be strong, don't give up." or "Keep smiling, you never know who may be in love with your smile."

I hope I'm not going to be alone for much longer.
I got used to always having a boyfriend.
I've been boyfriend free for a while now.

I started back at my old habits.
I hate it.

My "mystery" that I once wrote about,
I miss him very much.
I haven't talked to him in forever.
He won't ever see this.

School has started back.
I graduate next year, (:

Well, I don't wanna be alone.
But I am at the moment, shit.
<3

I honestly don't know what to say.
I'm bored, sitting in study hall and am dying.
I have pnuemonia and bronchitis. I think
I spelled those wrong, ohhh welll.

I've been in here for 2 hours.
Staring at these blank walls and listening to the music in my ears.



Oh yeah, it's been 2 weeks cut free.
I've started over. :]
I'm grounded, from everything, but I haven't
done anything stupid. Go me!

I've only got 2 weeks until school lets out for the summer.
I can't wait!

I haven't written in a while. & I have a lot to say.
But I'm not going to say it.
I'm keeping it all in.
Just for a little while.
Then letting it all out.

tomorrow, should be interesting.
tomorrow, is six months.
six months of the girl being free of cutting.
free of self-inflicting pain.


the girl doesn't run to the blade anymore,
she doesn't have anymore nights of locking
herself in the bathroom and continually
crying and taking the blade to her wrist,
legs, and stomach.

she doesn't have to waste anymore time
wondering what is going to happen each time
the cold metal would gently slice her skin open,

she doesn't have to wonder about that anymore.
she's been clean,
she's been freed.

she's new,
she's happy,
she's free.

To Write Love On Her Arms has honestly saved my life. When I was 12, I began cutting, burning, etc. I attempted suicide when I was 13 after I was raped. I had heard of TWLOHA but never thought anything could help me, therefore, I kept Self-Injuring. After I turned 15 I put some thought into what TWLOHA really was, and there, I found my safe haven. Reading and watching the videos about Renee affected me, cause I knew I wasn't alone. I became addicted to wanting to stop, because I knew that "Rescue Was Possible." Learning more about the organization I was able to stop cutting, and to find help. I am now able to control my urges and stop them with a healthier solution. To Write Love On Her Arms saved my life, and I don't know what I would do if they weren't there.

going through my depression,
i have been doing a lot with TWLOHA(To Wrire Love On Her Arms)
they are a wonderful organization and people
should want to help those who need help.

days go and go and go.
i'm still here.
but i'm freaking tired of some people
i don't understand how they could wake up
every morning and just be bitches (:

I was in serious danger. I was scared to what I would do.
I had no idea that what I was about to do, would affect the rest of my life forever.
I had just suffered a real life changing event..
I almost commited suicide.
I was rushed to the emergancy room,
then transfered to another hospital,
for Behavorial Health.

I was there for a week,
on Anti-Depressants and Blood pressure medication.
I have been diagnosed with Panic Disorder,
OCD, Depression, and Anxiety Disorder.


My life, will never be the same.

 

so it was a while..maybe the next week.
and you came back.

you said you wanted to talk to me.
and we talked.

i cried, you cried.
you hugged me...

you told me that you didn't want me to let you go..


i never will.


but why is it that i can't seem to?

i LOVE my boyfriend without a doubt.
but i will always love you?
something about you.
the smallest thing.

Seeing you today was the worst that could have happened...
and It did.

It brought back the memories of us being together...and how much I lost.
but When I heard you say what you said to me...I hated you all over again.

"I figured you weren't worth it...and I found out it was true."

thanks..

I'm glad we are over, it just hurts that my best friend is dating you...
couldn't she have more respect for me as a person?